I was watching a viral YouTube video of a baby learning to walk. The baby would stand, wobble and fall. If you are considering the end goal being walking, this baby failed. They tried repeatedly and failed each time and each time the baby's parents cheered and clapped. The important part was not that the baby fell, nor was it that it didn't succeed walking. It was that the baby was constantly improving. Each time the baby fell, they stood up and tried again. Each time they were standing longer or taking more steps before falling. What a smashing success! Before long, they were walking. As parents and coaches, we need to have the same mentality when it comes to kids sports.
Fear of failure will hold us back. Its why we don't apply for a VP level position. Its why we don't karaoke. Its why parents are considered boring to their kids! In the history of the world, there is not one successful person who didn't fail multiple times. What really matters is having determination to improve. So, the next time you have a kid that messes up at game point, think twice about your response. That mistake was a stepping stone to not being afraid to make a big play at game point in the future.
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Last night a parent shared this story with me. Last fall, he searched around for a club volleyball program for his daughter. He met with a representative from a certain club and was told all the great things about the club. They had their own facility: Beautiful courts, workout equipment, specialized volleyball training equipment, and more.
The cost was $2000 for coaching, $600 for uniforms and more for each tournament they played. 3 hours of practice a week. It seemed like a solid deal. Then, on the first day of practice, this parent took his daughter to the facility. They put 10 teams on 4 courts. The girls weren't allowed to hit the ball over the net. When he approached the person he talked to about the club, she reminded him that he signed a contract. Throughout the course of the year, his daughter sat on the bench keeping stats at every tournament. She never received training from a head coach. Instead, it was some sort of an intern or associate coach. She was young and inexperienced. I was watching a 7th grade volleyball game last week. Both teams used a serve receive where the left back and right back players are about 20' off the net, but the middle back player is about 4' from the baseline. The girls on the other team could barely serve the ball to the baseline, so they kept getting ace after ace whenever the ball was served to the middle of the court. I thought the coach would make an adjustment, but she insisted with sticking to her old-school serve receive. The coach should have plotted where the serves were hit and the outcome. Had she done this, she would have noticed a disturbing pattern.
The fact is, most serves can be received with all three back row players standing around the 22' line...in a straight line. The overhand receive makes those deep serve-receive positions obsolete. The same is true for defense. Most kills occur in the middle of the court, not the perimeter. So, why is there so much effort defending the perimeter of the court. Plot the hits and kills in your next match and you will see where to play defense. Remember, coach smart, not coach tradition. Every year there is a descent player on your team who has poor hitting technique. After the first several weeks, it is clear that the muscle memory is too engrained in this player and they are not willing to change their technique. You know that the poor technique will lead to shoulder problems later in their careers, but the player is better than most of the kids on the team.
When parents and coaches are faced with this situation, you will quickly find out what they value most. Any coach who is in it for the kids will find a way to get the technique corrected without letting the player continuing to put stress on the shoulder, even if that means not playing her until she has corrected the technique. This is a difficult decision, but it is one that must be made. A few years ago, I saw a player with a hitting technique issue where her armswing put all the pressure on her shoulder socket and tendons, instead of dispersing the strain with proper shoulder rotation. Despite repeated efforts to talk her parents and coaches into making changes, she continued to play and have fun as a starter. Toward the end of the season, she felt a pop and experienced severe pain. Her volleyball career was done as a Freshman in high school. Now, this is an extreme case. Most players merely experience nagging shoulder problems through high school, which typically haunt them later in life. The bottom line is, winning is not worth it. Life is too short to play for today at the expense of suffering tomorrow. It takes guts as a coach and for parents, it means to swallow your pride. 2 months of dedicated effort will provide years of joy playing the sport.
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